Showing posts with label attachment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
How does the Theory of Attachment Affect Our Romantic Relationships?
Have you ever wondered about why some people are clingy in relationships? Have you ever wondered why some of your lovers were so distant and seemed unemotional? Why are other people neither too clingy nor too emotionally closed off? Mary Ainsworth's theory of attachment holds the answers to these questions.
Secure Attachment
People are supposed to develop a secure attachment in relationships, because it will make them less aggressive, more empathetic, less disruptive, and more mature. In addition, adults who are securely attached have good self esteem, enjoy intimate and close relationships, can share their feelings and thoughts with others, and seek out social support. Overall, adults with a secure attachment style have long-term, trusting relationships.
Secure Attachment is Linked to Eros Love
Secure Attachment in Children
Ambivalent Attachment
It is not healthy to have an ambivalent attachment style, because you tend to be anxious, worry that your partner does not love you, be reluctant to become close and intimate with others, and be extremely distressed when a relationship ends. Ambivalent attachment in adults may cause romantic relationships to feel cold and distant to them. They worry constantly over whether or not the other person's feelings are true. People who are ambivalently attached can also be clingy and overly dependent.
Ambivalent Attachment is Linked to Mania Love
Ambivalent Attachment in Children
Avoidant Attachment
Being avoidantly attached is also unhealthy, because you cannot have a deep romantic relationship due to the fact that you guard your heart and keep a certain level of emotional distance. People with an avoidant attachment style have difficulty with intimate relationships, use excuses to avoid intimacy and closeness, are not very supportive to their partners, and do not feel distraught when a relationship ends. In essence, those who have an avoidant attachment style do not share their emotions, thoughts, or feelings with their partners. Therefore, they cannot reap the benefits of a close and intimate romantic relationship.
Avoidant Attachment is Linked to Ludus Love
Avoidant Attachment in Children
Click Here to find out your Attachment Style
Another Attachment Style Quiz
Disorganized Attachment
After Mary Ainsworth's contributions to the theory of attachment, Mary Main discovered a fourth type of attachment style, dubbed disorganized attachment. People with a disorganized attachment style think that people cannot be trusted, act controlling, have poor social skills, act aggressive, have anxiety, feel sad, have poor self control, and become frustrated easily.
What if I am not securely attached? What if my child doesn't appear to be securely attached?
Fortunately, attachment styles are not permanent. A person who is ambivalently attached can become securely attached. Even a securely attached individual can become avoidantly attached! The initial attachment is determined by the emotional bond (or lack of) made with the primary caregiver as a child. However, as a child becomes older, he begins to attach to other people and through the positive or negative experiences with those people, he is susceptible to change.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
John Bowlby's Attachment Theory
John Bowlby's attachment theory is based off of the fact that people are born biologically programmed to attach with others, in order to survive. Babies are incapable of raising themselves. Without a caregiver, they would die. Therefore, is it surprising that we are hard-wired with the need for attachment? Failure to make an attachment with a primary caregiver can cause negative consequences in the future.
Did you know that before a woman gives birth, her brain begins releasing more oxytocin? This hormone is critical for the bonding process in both humans and other animals.
Level Of Oxytocin In Pregnant Women Predicts Mother-Child Bond
Oxytocin: It’s a Mom and Pop Thing
Mother's phone call as comforting as a hug, says oxytocin study
Oxytocin Promotes Social Attachment, Beginning with Mother and Child
John Bowlby's Attachment Theory Defines Social Releasers
Crying
Crawling
Smiling
John Bowlby's attachment theory states that attachment behaviors are triggered by separation, fear, and insecurity. In addition, the fear of strangers is a natural survival mechanism. Therefore, people are born with these instinctive behaviors, in order to trigger contact and closeness with the mother.
"The propensity to make strong emotional bonds to particular individuals is a basic component of human nature." - John Bowlby
4 Main Discoveries of John Bowlby's Attachment Theory
A baby has a predisposed biological need to attach to a primary caregiver, typically the mother. It is possible for a child to have more than one attachment figure, but early on the baby yearns to make a primary attachment. John Bowlby also believed that the emotional bond between mother and child is very different from other types of relationships. This does not mean that the father is incapable of bonding with a child. In fact, research has showed that the father is just as important as the mother. Fathers bond differently with their children.
The baby should be cared for by the primary caregiver for the first 2 years. John Bowlby believes that if the emotional bond between the infant and primary caregiver is broken or not consistent during the first few years of life, then the child can develop emotional, social, and cognitive problems.
If the baby fails to attach, there may be negative consequences. These include affectionless psychopathy, increased aggression, delinquency, depression, and decreased intelligence.
Attachment creates an internal working model. The internal working model is how the child understands others, the world, and the self. Simply put, how well the baby attaches with his primary caregiver has an influence on how he interacts with others and what he expects from others.
The Theory of Attachment Began with John Bowlby
John Bowlby's attachment theory serves as the foundation of the theory of attachment. Many psychologists have researched attachment and added onto John Bowlby's basics of attachment.
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